1. The album tells a story, sort of
Well, maybe we're not sure about this, but I think there's a central theme to this record. It sounds like a band documenting their attempt to make a go of it. Frankly, the Unicorns didn't have a lot to say. Hence, the "Ghost Trilogy", the three tracks devoted to some imaginary spirits. The lyrics might as well be gibberish. Sure, maybe the writers of the songs thought there was some basic truth of the human experience that they were singing about, but that's a big maybe and even if so they did a shitty job of conveying it. But here's where the genius part comes in. It doesn't matter what they're talking about. The lyrics are fun and you have a sense that there's a beginning, middle, and end (witness the bookends of the record, "I Don't Wanna Die" and "Ready to Die"), and most importantly, the lyrics are principally there to serve the vocals. David Thomas of (Cleveland's own) Pere Ubu said that "music exists for the sole purpose of having a singer." Luckily, David Thomas is a fucking moron. Music exists, of course, to move people and to convey emotion, regardless of lyrical content. This is the same man who said that Brian Wilson's "Smile" was "flawed", after all. Obviously, David Thomas cannot be taken seriously. But I digress. What lyrics there are are clever, and often funny (We're the Unicorns/We're more than horses). No mean feat for an outfit with nothing to say.
2. Even if it didn't, the music is sublime
If you listened to the first fifteen seconds of each of the songs on "Who Will Cut Our Hair When We're Gone", you'd probably hate it. Many of the songs start out with tossaway little intros, be it pan flutes or electro-organs, that will inevitably become lodged in your brain not unlike a polyp. Not worth removing surgically, and even if you did, you'd probably miss it a little. These guys were focused on making the perfect pop record, and it's fairly difficult to make a rational argument that they failed. The listener comes to love even the faulty moments, the beginnings of songs that struck them as frivolous at first listen but become essential upon further study. Perhaps not since Mr. Bungle has a band been so good at rope-a-doping listeners, then smacking them in the face with unstoppable melodies. Each and every song here will stay with you for days, and you might even wonder why you didn't think of it yourself. You'll realize that the Unicorns made no missteps, only well-crafted weirdness.
3. The album won't be lessened by later transgressions
The Unicorns were a shooting star. 18 months after this record was released, the Unicorns were finished. Perhaps their relentless touring played a hand in their demise. Maybe (probably) we missed out on some great music because they split. But it's unlikely they would have ever recaptured the spirit of this record, and if they had made a bunch of corny records, which is exceedingly likely, it would have only detracted from the legacy of "Who Will Cut Our Hair When We're Gone?".
If you had to impress someone with one record that they didn't know, give them this record. It's unassailably catchy and has a huge of indie cred cache. If you didn't know, now you know.
Well, maybe we're not sure about this, but I think there's a central theme to this record. It sounds like a band documenting their attempt to make a go of it. Frankly, the Unicorns didn't have a lot to say. Hence, the "Ghost Trilogy", the three tracks devoted to some imaginary spirits. The lyrics might as well be gibberish. Sure, maybe the writers of the songs thought there was some basic truth of the human experience that they were singing about, but that's a big maybe and even if so they did a shitty job of conveying it. But here's where the genius part comes in. It doesn't matter what they're talking about. The lyrics are fun and you have a sense that there's a beginning, middle, and end (witness the bookends of the record, "I Don't Wanna Die" and "Ready to Die"), and most importantly, the lyrics are principally there to serve the vocals. David Thomas of (Cleveland's own) Pere Ubu said that "music exists for the sole purpose of having a singer." Luckily, David Thomas is a fucking moron. Music exists, of course, to move people and to convey emotion, regardless of lyrical content. This is the same man who said that Brian Wilson's "Smile" was "flawed", after all. Obviously, David Thomas cannot be taken seriously. But I digress. What lyrics there are are clever, and often funny (We're the Unicorns/We're more than horses). No mean feat for an outfit with nothing to say.
2. Even if it didn't, the music is sublime
If you listened to the first fifteen seconds of each of the songs on "Who Will Cut Our Hair When We're Gone", you'd probably hate it. Many of the songs start out with tossaway little intros, be it pan flutes or electro-organs, that will inevitably become lodged in your brain not unlike a polyp. Not worth removing surgically, and even if you did, you'd probably miss it a little. These guys were focused on making the perfect pop record, and it's fairly difficult to make a rational argument that they failed. The listener comes to love even the faulty moments, the beginnings of songs that struck them as frivolous at first listen but become essential upon further study. Perhaps not since Mr. Bungle has a band been so good at rope-a-doping listeners, then smacking them in the face with unstoppable melodies. Each and every song here will stay with you for days, and you might even wonder why you didn't think of it yourself. You'll realize that the Unicorns made no missteps, only well-crafted weirdness.
3. The album won't be lessened by later transgressions
The Unicorns were a shooting star. 18 months after this record was released, the Unicorns were finished. Perhaps their relentless touring played a hand in their demise. Maybe (probably) we missed out on some great music because they split. But it's unlikely they would have ever recaptured the spirit of this record, and if they had made a bunch of corny records, which is exceedingly likely, it would have only detracted from the legacy of "Who Will Cut Our Hair When We're Gone?".
If you had to impress someone with one record that they didn't know, give them this record. It's unassailably catchy and has a huge of indie cred cache. If you didn't know, now you know.
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